RN Case Manager
I am discharging people at a rate that is unprecedented, in conditions that are more than limited (lack of staffing in home care, backlogs in DME, virtual PCP follow ups, hospices that are beyond full, and EMS systems that are challenged to provide transport). AND WE ARE NOT EVEN CLOSE to the peak of this. I am stunned that we could be caught so off-guard.
Why are we beholden as professionals to the whims of political leaders. As a scientific community, preaching evidence-based care--how did this happen?
I got my first mask (one, that was produced by our OR nurses out of work d/t the limits on elective surgery) two weeks into my treating active Covid. I am outraged.
The nurses as heroine or angel talk turns my stomach. We need to be outraged!
Ethically, I am very torn. My professional role is to support and protect patients and their families. I do not want to scare or contribute to panic and hoarding. But I am seeing a disaster in the making and if I am honest, people will be frightened. How do I balance these responsibilities?
I am the lifeline between families and the hospital. The docs are overloaded. I am making these calls, and they are heartbreaking. There is no APP that can help address the waterfall of grief I listen to all day. My co-workers have their own stress and we don't have time to talk and process. If you aren't in it, you can't imagine it. My hospital sent me a mental health app--offering me a 10 minute guided meditation of a forest walk. Seriously? This is a mental health emergency. I can only relate to the first responders in 911--that didn't work so well for them, did it?
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Comments (3)
Julie-Thank you for sharing your experience~its real and it's hard is ways we never imagined. And many other nurses are feeling the same. Part of this process is letting go of unrealistic expectations we have of ourselves~we all have limits and we have to honor them with compassion. I'm sure you are very resilient--you wouldn't be a nurse if you weren't! What would serve you right now? What inner resources might you draw on? Use this forum as a place to bring what is hard to carry on your own.
Hi Julie:
This is heartbreaking. What supports would help you?
I am sorry for such a rant. It was such a hard day. It's the isolation and weariness that is compounding everything. When they took aware furniture (to make sure of social distance) we lost our ability to eat lunch together as a staff. That has had a negative impact. Honestly, I think hospital administration is at such a loss and overwhelmed, they aren't thinking about us. We need de-briefing opportunities. Ways to get support /to process /and learn from how others are managing. I talked with a Chaplain today, who is a dear colleague, and they are feeling similarly. "A firehose of grief."
I am learning that this experience is about having a lateral support system--this is not a top down experience. It started with learning that U Washington RNs were making their own masks, which gave us courage to speak up, and do the same. Or, reading the playbook from WuHan online, or listening to the MD from Italy on NPR talking about the grief of taking care of sick colleagues.
I am thankful that you are collecting experiences, so we can do better. I am sorry to be so rough. I have been getting support from a retired physician and also a retired social worker, who can hear the truth but are not lost in it. Thank you Cindy.