Should I stay or should I go? I am plagued by this question as I receive calls from both New York (where I used to live) and North Carolina (where I live now) to deploy in an unknown capacity in an unknown area with an unknown assignment. There is no doubt that, if I were untethered to family, I'd go wherever I was needed. But, with elderly parents who are completely on their own without me and my husband, I'm torn. What kind of daughter would I be to put my parents last on the list of priorities? What kind of wife would I be to leave my husband with the burden of weekly shopping, near-daily cooking, and sole first responder responsibility for regularly occurring mishaps? He says I should go, but the guilt and shame is already unsustainable. I can't sleep more than a few hours a night; I'm awakened by the pounding of my own heartbeat, anxious that I'm selfishly protecting my own interests while the rest of the front line suffers.