May 4th, 2020

LPN

We don’t currently have any cases but we have lost 3 of our 7 nurses in the past month so I’m alone this weekend. Last nurse quit because she was afraid of potentially bringing it home to her newborn and is also considering a complete career change.
I run around doing all I can and pray every day that this isn’t the day symptoms start to pop up. I’m finishing my prerequisites for a LPN to RN program as my goal was always to end up in a hospital setting... but I’m questioning everything since COVID.
I keep saying, police officers and firefighters get all the recognition they deserve for putting their life on the line in unsafe work conditions. But that is not what I thought I was signing up for and am facing all these emotions I never knew I’d feel. And every person who I feel doesn’t care about the fears we’re dealing with, feels like a weird disappointment I can’t even describe.
We keep coming to work because for some of us, this is all we’ve ever wanted to do. I never cared how I helped people in this profession- personal challenge, opportunity and enjoyment have always guided my career ambitions since becoming a LPN. But it was truly a calling to help others from a very young age and ever since, my life has been driven by my continued desire to help others. And who wouldn’t want to feel some support for that? It has never been in any way expected because this is a truly thankless job. I’ve never considered myself a hero especially since I haven’t been face to face with this thing yet. But even so, it would be no different than any other day I’m taking care of these people and haven’t peed all day or had time for a sip of water. I’m there to do a job and sometimes if they need a little more of me that day, I care for them which might result in a little less care of myself.
I think the lack of understanding and feeling of support from certain people in this country who we’re just trying to help is what hurts me the most. I feel the support is needed now more than ever.

Tags: Frustration, kindness, Scared

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Comments (3)

Comments (3)

Hi Emily,
You have written a heartbreaking post about the lack of empathy out in the world. Truly we have seen amazing acts of generosity in response to covid, but I agree that we have also seen many many people who seem to only be focused on themselves, often because they only care about making money, but sometimes for what I consider dumb reasons, like they want to get a haircut or go out to eat. I don't know how you feel about our President, but it seems fair to say that he is seriously lacking in empathy and unfortunately many people in our country are taking their cues from him: don't think about others, think only about yourself. We need better leadership than that, but I also believe that small acts of kindness and justice can make an outsize difference, not just in the world, but for yourself. By being kind you embody the values you believe in, and that is vitally important to you retaining your own sense of humanity. I know it is very hard, and I really feel for you. I do. Perhaps we need an empathy party, or empathy candidates--not necessarily to govern, but to say, hey everyone matters. But please know that YOU matter, Emily. Very much. I am confident the work you do makes a difference. And that you, simply by being you, make a difference as well.
With my warmest wishes,
Theresa

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Hi Emily:

I have also been saddened and disappointed by the reactions of some people. What do you think it would take to make them understand?

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I believe empathy is seriously lacking and I wish I had the answer as to why certain people look at “statistics” to rationalize weighting economy over human life. I am completely heartbroken by the response of people who aren’t thinking about how this is effecting other people. I’m only now realizing that we live in a world where we either look out for ourself or we look out for ourself AND our neighbor. And I feel not enough people care enough about the ripple effect of their actions, and how those actions are making us feel expendable. Feel like we’re a statistic that doesn’t even matter enough to try to protect. Someone needs to be a leader. And step up in a way where people realize we can’t get through anything long term without the help of each other. We will only worsen our situation as a country and world if we continue to encourage these divides. I’m sort of religious, I believe there can be a right, wrong and somewhere in the middle... and right now I believe we have a chance as to be better people. Better human beings who value life over lifestyle. Who aren’t buying millions dollar mansions when there are people who are dying of hunger and lack of healthcare. I believe there is a generation that is becoming more and more out of touch with how to be a moral human being. I hope there is change after this. I’m afraid for the world if there isn’t.

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